this is the good life

BLACK FRIDAY

2006-12-04T00:18:00.000-08:00

this is a lovely picture of my brother and me at 5 in the morning waiting outside of staples to buy doorbusters on the morning after thanksgiving...aka. Black Friday.
It had to be like zero degrees outside. we were freezing! But, sibling bonding doesn't get much better than that, fighting the crowds, freezing in line, hoping that there are still some cool things left in the store, and strategizing on the best way to sell these on ebay, and what we'll use the extra cash for.

Besides my awesome trip home for thanksgiving, not much else is new... I am trying to finish out my semester, and make it through finals, with christmas vacation always in sight.
I am excited about what God is doing in my life these days. I am constantly amazed by how He is moving in my church, and giving me more opportunities to get involved in worship and missions and leadership. I am starting up a small group on my campus next semester, so you can pray for that if you think of it. I'm also excited to see how he opens up girls' lives for me to speak into them when I coach them. I am coaching at Whittier Christian high school, and I totally love the girls. I love to hear their joys, and problems, and high school drama. I love to see them catch the love for the game, and to learn new things, and more importantly I love to see them grasp a love for Christ, and His love for them. I hope that this year, I can be more than some coach that makes them run or do drills, but someone who points them to Christ and shows them what a life lived with Him looks like.

well, it's almost Christmas, and down here I can't tell that by the weather, but I can tell by my roommate Shannon's decorating. She found "the christmas box" my mom gave us with a bunch of random christmas trinkets, and I realized that the season is in full swing, when I walked into my bathroom and found a christmas tree skirt around the bottom of our toilet...well, when you don't have a tree...

that's enough blogging for tonight.
merry Christmas

and the new question is... (there's two...can you handle it?)
what is the most Ridiculous Christmas gift you've ever recieved? and...
what is the most meaningful/memorable gift you have ever received?

Home Sweet Home

2006-12-21T18:29:00.000-08:00

I'll be home for Christmas...

Well it is really nice to be home in Bend for Christmas. Something just isn't right about hearing Chrismas music playing in the nicely decorated starbucks and seeing palm trees out the window as people in tank-tops and flip-flops walk by. It's great to wear fleece jackets and beanies, and sit by the fire and drink hot chocolate.

I went cross country skiing yesterday with my mom and her friends and soon realized my body is not quite ready for that kind of exercise. I suppose my body deserves a day of rest for each day it took a beating during soccer season. Which means...I still have at least another month to sit around and watch movies.

The high school team I am an assistant coach for is doing pretty well. We won again on tuesday, putting us at 5-2-0 so far this year. Not bad for a little private Christian school. I am having a blast coaching them. It's fun to try to impart to them all of the things I have learned about soccer and about Christ on the Biola team.

Speaking of the biola team, here are some pictures of my soccer banquet-

well, that's it.

new question:
What is your favorite Christmas tradition?

2007

2007-01-01T17:41:00.000-08:00

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Highlights of 2006
- my 1st apartment - shoutout to McComber Creek!
- 2 CD Projects: jordan's floor, and RockHarbor Sabbath
- becoming a "senior" in the Biola soccer program
- surviving weights, fitness, and practice in spring
- Japan - too many highlights to even write about...read my japan blog if you care about those highlights (kerijapan.blogspot.com)
- being a hobo -special thanks to all who housed me and fed me before and after my trip to Japan
- Melody coming back from Honduras, I missed my other half
- Senior Soccer Season
-every minute of soccer practice, and games
- my parents coming down from Bend for almost every single game, and my brother and family coming to see me play.
-1540:07 minutes of gametime
- 0 minutes on the bench
- 90 saves
- 3 kicks to the face, 3 kicks to the ribs, too many wrecks with strikers,
-53 trips to the physical therapist (aka quality time with Hilary)
- Trip to tennesee
-purchase of my first country CD
- diving into ministry at church - coffee -- worship leading -- small group -- missions soon
- living with the coolest roommates ever
- my 1st nephew's first birthday
- my best friend getting engaged-
- coming home to Bend for the holidays after being gone for 8 months.
-coaching at Whittier Christian
-being 1 semester away from being a "grown up" college grad, and more importantly never having to do finals again.

These are just some of the incredible moments/events of my past year. My dad was right when he said, "Keri, it just keeps getting better."

here are some pics from my christmas at home:

and... if anyone still reads this...What is a highlight from your year?

"The Shadow Proves the Sunshine"

2007-01-25T23:57:00.000-08:00

So, I was looking at my blog and realizing that it has been a long time since I posted anything. A lot has happened since the final day of 2006, one story, I want to record in particular... I think it has been long enough now that this story can be told almost with laughter, instead of tears...

It was a dark chilly evening on that first day of the year 2007...
I flew back to LAX (bad idea), on a holiday (bad idea number 2), and one of my bags got lost... long story short, I deplaned at 8:15pm, and I left LAX around 11:15pm. (thanks hil and dan for waiting, you guys are champs). Then after the long car ride through LAX traffic and home to my cozy little apartment, I arrive to see that my car is not where it was parked...and neither is Melody's or anyone else's who left them in that parking lot. I also see some new signs:The big red sign reading, "PRIVATE PROPERTY...your car will be towed if you park here" was not put up when I parked my car in the lot before going home to Oregon for Christmas. So, while melody and I and the other Biola students were at home drinking hot chocolate and singing carols, our cars were finding a new home in the impound. So, upon our return, we found our cars missing and that they had a $600 ransom price. Ouch. The towing company guys were criminal, no mercy, no concern for our college-kid-who-lives-on-top-ramen sob stories. So we got some great friends to drive us out to the impound, and we shelled out the ransom money, and returned home with our cars, and the five dollars we had left to our names:

The story doesn't end there. Hilary and Dan, who already took their day off to take us to the impound, felt bad for us and cooked us a steak dinner. Holy smokes it was good, almost good enough to take away the badness of that day...almost.
And then, the next day, my high school team I coach had a game, and one of the parents heard that I was gone tuesday because of my car fiasco (did I spell that right?), and after the game she gave me money to help cover the cost of the towing. It was an incredible answer to prayer, and an expression of extreme generosity.

It really got me thinking, about how the difficult circumstances in my life prove to be so bittersweet. As I thought back upon each major hardship I had faced in the past few years, each one was coupled with incredible memories of steadfast friends coming straight into my room to pray and cry with me when my aunt passed away, or encouraging notes and random envelopes with money stuck in my mailbox or on my car when my computer and school work got stolen, long, late-night encouragement talks when I was hurting, and free meals when ends just didn't seem to meet.
I'm not sure I'd change a thing, if I had it to do all over again...not that anyone would ever wish to have their car towed or their bag/computer stolen, or to lose a family member, or any other trial. Yet, in those moments, I have most clearly seen the heart of Christ, I've most evidently seen people functioning as the Body, I've been tangibly reminded of how God loves and provides for me, and how the people in my life are genuine, and they really care.
I used to fear that my life was "too good" that this can't be real, that life can't continue on this great, allowing me to be so content. I feared that some huge insurmountable trial awaited me just around the corner. True, a huge trial may be awaiting me around the corner, but it is certainly not insurmountable, and it can not shake the "good life" that I've been granted through Christ, and am continually reminded of through His people. Like the hymn writer so eloquently wrote "when peace like a river attendeth my way, when sorrows like sea billows roar, whatever my lot, Thou hast taught me to say, it is well, it is well, with my soul."

So for those of you who have dropped off notes, blessed me with finances, or prayed, or stayed up late talking me through life, or cooked me a meal, or offered me your couch, "I thank my God upon every rememberance of You." You have reminded me that "in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, and who are called according to His purpose."

Can I hear your story of when God moved (or used His people to move) in your life to turn a difficult time into a blessing?

Something about the ocean...

2007-01-28T19:33:00.000-08:00

So our church challenged us to "practice the Sabbath" which is a fancy way to say, "take a big chunk of time out of your life, and enjoy God, open up to Him, take time to listen, and slow down." So... we went for it, and obviously, the best place to do Sabbath is... the beach.

I have this hiding place that I always go to when I need to think, or just sit and do nothing, or pray, and especially when I need to listen. It is an abandoned lifeguard stand in Newport Beach. I can sit up there for hours, and just wait, and watch the waves crash, and just "be" away from the craziness of my life. So naturally, that's where I headed this morning.

I can't quite figure out why I feel so entirely at home at the beach, but I always have. Today, I reminisced times when I was no more than 5 years old, walking along the beach on vacation with my parents, informing them that I would live by the beach someday. And here, 16 years later, I return to a lifeguard stand watching the dolphins go by (seriously...I saw one), as my ipod plays what seems to be my anthem:

"there's somethin about the ocean, that makes me rise up and praise, somethin about the heavens, makes me stand in awe again, somethin about the sunrise, reminds me of Your faithfulness, somethin, about the ocean, and I'm lost in love again."

I sat on a rock, out on the Jetti until I literally lost track of time, completely content to just be...for the first time in a long time. I was completely free of that "itch" to be doing something else. As I walked back toward the lifeguard stand, I started thinking about how nice it was to intentionally spend time with God, and to have nothing else fighting for my attention. At first, I thought that He had been silent...present but silent, and as I asked Him why, I realized that He had not. But, He didn't tell me to do anything. I didn't leave that time feeling like "now I know, God wants me to pray more," or "God is asking me to get up earlier and be more faithful to my devotions," or "God wants me to trust Him more, so I better figure out how to do that." Though these are good things, that is not what He said today, and since I heard no command, I thought He hadn't spoken. I soon realized He had. He had affirmed His love for me, He disarmed my fears by reminding me of how great, soveriegn, and present He is. He called me friend, and allowed me to simply enjoy Him.

So, I guess I write this, one to process and appreciate the goodness of My God, and the goodness of this sabbath. And second, to remind whoever might read this to take a second to breathe in your life. It definately is something you have to carve out, and make room for, but it is worth it. God built it into creation. Slow down, dump out all of the things that flood your mind with anxiety, fear, and pressure, and then, just sit, and enjoy God. You don't have to wait for some all-encompassing answer, or some command with superpowers attached to help you fix everything, or enable you to "go back at it." You can just wait for Him...and really, He's the one waitng for you. Today I realized that most of my time spent with God is like a business meeting, when what we really need is a date.
I was again reminded why one of my favorite verses in the entire bible is when Jesus says, "Come and have breakfast..." (John 21:12)

"I'm learning to breathe, learning to crawl, finding that You and You alone can break my fall, I'm living again, awake and alive, I'm dying to breathe in these abundant skies."
your turn...one of the most memorable times spent with God--- go.

"So now what are you doing?"

2007-05-29T23:41:00.001-07:00

I haven't blogged in a while, so I am not sure that anyone reads this... but, I just graduated and people keep asking me what I am going to do with my life.
I wish I had some kind of definite, satisfying answer, but the only thing I really want to say is "change the world." Dreamer? guilty as charged. But just saying, "I'm gonna be a substitute teacher, or a coach, or a barista at starbucks, or whatever," just doesn't seem satisfying to me. Of course, there is nothing wrong with these things, and I very well may do them here in the next few years, but something in me wants to dream bigger. I want to dream about helping Sudanese refugees finally return to their homeland. I want to dream about being part of new church ministries, or even a plant in a neighborhood that is starving for the gospel. So for those of you who are wondering what I'm going to do now that I'm a graduate, that is it. I'm dreaming of changing the world, and pressing into God to hear how He might want me to do that, and trying my best to be faithful in the seemingly unimportant or at least ordinary things.
As far as the practical things are concerned, in the short term future, I plan on:
- attending Physical therapy all too often (3x a week) for my ridiculous shoulder disfunction. I have the weirdest injury ever called scapular dyskinesis, I'll tell you the story sometime.
- coaching soccer - youth soccer, (13 year olds), goalkeeper coach at Biola, GK private lessons, and assistant coach at Whittier Christian High School
- I'm applying for jobs at Whittier Christian as well - maybe a little teaching, who knows?
- I'm planning on possibly being a sub in the public schools if that doesn't work out.
- leading worship at RockHarbor whenever I get the chance
- giving as much free time as I can come up with to go to San Diego and hang out with my Sudanese friends, and do whatever I can to help them through the rough parts of life as a refugee here in America.

It seems like the question of "what you are going to be" is kindof ridiculous to me. I have found that I can only really see who I am, and what I might have become, in hindsight and upon reflection. I can certainly think of the kind of person I hope to be...but as I think on that, occupations are no where near the front of my mind. Mostly, I just want to be more like Jesus.
-

Hola! Es la dia de gracias en Mexico!

2007-11-20T13:27:00.000-08:00

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

This year, we're spending Thanksgiving in Mazatlan Mexico. It is not quite the traditional thanksgiving tradition, but it is so beautiful. The long sandy beaches and the perfect weather and the incredible sunsets make me want to stay forever. It doesn't get better than being with family for the Holidays...except maybe being with family in Mexico. :)

You know how I love to sit on the lifeguard stands at Newport beach and read my Bible and pray? The Mayan Palace even had that covered for me...my own personal Palapa Lifeguard stand...I have found my hiding place.

The view from the top!!! it kinda reminds me of the Pirates of the Carribean.

I am thankful, and very blessed to be able to take vacations like this with a family as wonderful as mine. I'm missing Danny and Jamie and David, and new baby boy Schulz during Thanksgiving, but I'm looking forward to Christmas.

A few more things I'm thankful for this year:
- Jesus Christ, and the promise of a never-ending life with Him, honestly it just keeps getting better, and I keep getting more thankful.
- the best family in the world
- the conclusion of a great 4 years at Biola U. with the best roomate ever.
- 3 great roommates and A NEW HOUSE to live in (not to mention my own room!)
- RockHarbor - the reason I'm still in CA, a church that is healthy, reaching out, giving of herself, raising up world-changers, investing in me, and pointing me closer to God
- pastors who care and show me hospitality and treat me like family,
- physical therapists and doctors that are getting my shoulder much closer to working order.
- a new job at Starbucks... I start when I get home. -Hooray for free coffee and health insurance.
- a chance to coach some of the greatest girls in Southern California. They keep me smiling 7 days a week.
- beautiful Bend to come home to.

Your Turn...what are you thankful for?

My New Pad

2007-12-08T14:09:00.000-08:00

Well... I got a new place!! Hooray! I went from sharing a 1 bedroom apartment with three girls (which was actually a lot more fun than it sounds), to getting my own room in a 3 bedroom house!
I love it.

here are some photos...sorry I haven't taken any of the front of the house yet, but you can imagine...it's yellow, kind of easter-pastel-sortof bright-yellow. Ha Ha.
But, it's home to me!!
this is my room....

and bathroom...and kitchen..(see mom? I told you Anya decorated for Christmas...there is ven a tree.)
and living room (it was messy when I took this picture because we were still moving in.)

This is my new place. More pics to come!

Rocky Mountain High

2007-12-23T12:31:00.000-08:00

I went to Colorado for Heide's wedding and to see Melody before Christmas, now that she has moved to the great frozen beyond (also known as Wisconsin, AND might I add, the snowmobile capital of the world.)
IT IS BEAUTIFUL. I didn't think that I could ever find a town as pretty as Bend, but there is another, tied for first place - Evergreen, CO. The stunning mountains leave you breathless in the mornings, (or maybe it's the 6 degree weather that's stealing your breath...who knows?) I've been writing this worship song lately, kindof about the idea that everything God created was created as good - at least initially, and that the sole responsibility of the creation is to simply respond by recognizing His goodness. (I was thinking about both Genesis 1, and Romans 1) It goes like this -
"As the Maker of the heavens sings, 'It is good,'
The echo of the ocean rins, 'You are good.'
Hear the Shaper of the mountains say, 'It is good'
and the tongues from every nation praise, "You are good.'

All creation is charged with Your presence
Nature displayed as the evidence,
that You are,
You are,
Lord You are good.

So we join in the rhythm of all You have made,
an anthem of glory, honor and praise
each moment a movement to lift up Your name
as our anthem rings out to proclaim,
"Lord You are good."

As the Author of my faith, He sings, 'It is good.'
The echo of my heart it rings, 'You are good.'
To think that You would say of me 'Very good'
Makes me long for all to see, "You are good."

All creation is charged with Your presence..."

Anyway, this visit to Colorado made the words of this song a lot more real to me.
I hope that as you wander through the snowflakes, and christmas trees, and beautiful downtown twinkle lights, you will be reminded of the One who made it all. He is good.

This is a picture of "us soccer girls" at Heide's wedding - a regular wedding tradition - the soccer snapshot.
Congrats Heide and Ben!

Rockin Around the Christmas Tree!

2007-12-31T18:21:00.000-08:00

Christmas '07 at the Schulz's

Certainly the most exciting part of my Christmas was the littlest Schulz, whom I endearinlgy call, "Davey." David was a riot on Christmas. Danny and Jamie got to our parents' house on Christmas evening, and the festivities began. David busted out his "Cars" PJs, Slippers, and Lightning McQueen talking car he'd gotten earlier that morning, and we started opening presents!!!

Actually, he helped all of us open our presents, Mom, Dad, Danny, Jamie, Aunt Donna, Uncle Dan, Trevor my cousin, and Me. He could immediately tell when the presents were not for him -- they were boring...like clothes, and tools, and books, and blenders, and trevor's terribly confusing to a two-year-old mountain bike and snowbard and motocross gear.

One thing he definately recognized was the guitar...he went right for it...It seems to run in the family. Before long he'll be blowing Danny and I out of the water as a worship leader. And, boy, can this kid dance too!!

Well, I hope you had a Christmas that was as great as ours!!

wonderful wintertime walkin.

2008-01-08T21:14:00.000-08:00

So...these are pictures straight from the middle of my hometown. This river runs right through the middle, and it is absolutely gorgeous. It is a phenominal change from the concrete jungle of So. Cal. It was really nice to be at home for Christmas break.

I just went out walking alone one afternoon along the Deschutes river, and realized how priceless times like that are. It is so refreshing to walk through the snow along a pristine river, pulling out my little camera every once in a while in hopes to capture the moment. It's never quite the same in a picture, but these are pretty good snapshots of that beautiful afternoon.
It's crazy how even as a young person, with no family to look after, and really not even holding a "real job" I still don't take enough times like this to just walk through nature, talk with Jesus about all of the wonderful things He's made, and wonder at creation like little children do.
I have often thought that it is funny that "solitude" and "silence" were considered disciplines. I really have always thought of those as benefits, or unexpected blessings in life. But this walk reminded me that rest and refreshment is available for those who take it.

There is still something to be said about this "sabbath" idea.

How amazing and unique is this ice on these rocks....and when was the last time anyone cared? It's funny how stopping to just see, and care about something so trivial, and short-lived as ice on some rocks, changed my entire day and my perspective.

So I guess, I'm mostly just preaching to myself...to remember to take some moments to enjoy creation, to walk by the rivers and be lead by still waters. He still does restore my soul.

so if anyone knows of any beautiful places near La Mirada...let me know-

Back to the Grind

2008-01-19T22:08:00.001-08:00

The term "Back to the Grind" has an all new meaning this year. I've made the switch from the mostly-bored shoulder-surgery, and coach-with-one-arm-for-a-living fall to a new year that currently involves 16 or 17 hour workdays in three different jobs. I still coach, but now with two arms. But I decided to add not only a long-term-substitute job on, but I've recently become a Starbucks barista.
I know, I've joined the monster corporation that is taking over the world, but I needed health insurance and they have great benefits even for part-time employees (or as Starbucks calls us "partners"). So, if you can't beat 'em, join 'em, right?
It has been really nice to show up to work and to just make something I love (namely coffee) to give to other people. The best part is, there's not much to screw up. I mean, it's just coffee. It's not grades, or soccer careers, or college scholarships, or life-altering injuries. It is just coffee. If someone doesn't like it, I just make them another one, and they're out the door and on their way.
Sometimes, I want to tell the other bustling Southern Californians that "it's just coffee" when they get unbelievably upset that their "Venti, decaf skinny vannilla latte, extra hot with no foam" has a tiny bit of foam that squeaked into the cup during my rookie-style, not-entirely-perfect pour of their nonfat 180 degree milk. It's funny how upset people get about coffee. I guess people like things the way they like them.

It has got me thinking about what God has been talking with me about lately. I have been thinking and praying a lot about the idea of comfort and how it is often tied to compromise. I am so frequently in pursuit of my own comfort, even at the expense of others. But the thing about being a Christian is that comfort has to be nothing more than a bonus. When we are freed from slavery from sin, we sometimes stop thinking about it there, forgetting that we are freed from sin, in order to be freed to be bondservants of Christ. The standard for slaves is sacrifice, not really comfort.
When I cling too tightly to my own comforts, I end up compromising. I compromise time with God in the morning for sleep. I compromise time helping a friend who is discouraged for just going home and relaxing on my couch. I compromise the chance to show a high school girl I care by going to some goofy team event because I want to be comfortable. I want my comfortable saturday doing what I want to do.
Comfort is wonderful, but from now on it must be a bonus. And bonuses are something that make you excited. I guess, my little coffee job has showed me more than how to make a Venti-decaf-extra-hot-vanilla-latte.

It's just coffee. It's just comfort.
therre are more important things in life. He is worth every ounce of sacrifice.
there will be a day for endless comfort

I walk the line

2008-02-06T12:03:00.000-08:00

Luke 8:40-56
“Now when Jesus returned, the crowd welcomed him, for they were all waiting for him. And there came a man named Jairus, who was a ruler of the synagogue. And falling at Jesus’ feet, he implored him to come to his house, for he had an only daughter, about twelve years of age, and she was dying.”
(49) “While he was still speaking, someone from the ruler’s house came and said, ‘Your daughter is dead; do not trouble the Teacher anymore.”
Upon reading this story this morning, it struck me how limited our faith is.
I am sure that the people from the Jairus’ house were very supportive of him going to find Jesus to heal his daughter from this horrible sickness. They most likely believed that if He just came to her, He was entirely able to stop the fatal sickness right in its tracks and that she would be made well. But, the moment that the child dies, they give up hope and tell him to stop bothering Jesus any longer. They have faith that He has power over sickness, but not over death.
Now, I don’t mean to sound arrogant. I would have a very hard time actually believing that Jesus would come and raise one of my family members from the dead. It is just interesting how up to a certain point, we have great faith in God, and what He is able and even willing to do. But we draw these lines in the sand, and if he does not cross them, or does not cross them as soon as we’d like, or in the way we’d like, our faith cries “uncle” and we give up right on the spot. We disguise our lack of faith, insisting that we are "bothering" Jesus with our requests, and claiming that He is much too high and far off to be concerned with our respectively small problems.
It is amazing how faith is the exception, and how our hearts are so miserably bent toward doubt.

Lord I believe, help my unbelief.
will you erase the lines I've drawn?

Tightrope

2008-02-13T08:41:00.001-08:00

Get ready...this is a long one.

It is amazing how the things that I come to God so frustrated about, are the very things that He speaks so much comfort into. The funny thing, however, is that I usually come to Him (emotionally speaking at least) looking for sympathy, like you might get from your best friend or your mom. I half-desire Him to respond, “yeah Keri, that really sucks. I can’t believe life has shaped up for you this way. What a bummer! This situation really isn’t going your way. I am sorry about that. I wish I could do something to change it…well, what do you know? I’m God Almighty! Let me fix that for you!” And, then life would proceed, happily ever after.

Yet, because I approach a God that is so much greater and wiser than the one my emotions and imagination sometimes wish to appeal to, He responds very differently. His poignant truth-answers feel all at once, like a punch to the kidney, and, as my cousin Brandy so eloquently says, “a bath on the inside.” (The feelings usually come in that order too – first, punch, then bath.)

So here is tonight’s version:
I’ve been attending these intensives (our fancy names for classes) at RockHarbor (our fancy name for church), and have found myself leaving these classes with more questions than answers usually. Not at all to discredit the courses - they are amazing, but it seems like any good class I’ve taken simply sparks an idea, or whets my pallet to some delicious topic, and then ends before I can even scratch the surface.

In the worship leading class, Todd talked about how our human hearts are so bent toward idolatry, that even worship of God throughout history has digressed into idolatry. For example, the golden calf dilemma was not birthed out of a God-less moment. It was the horribly degrading attempt of God’s people to shrink down their Object of worship (An untamable, God who described Himself as “completely Other (holy)”, and an “All-Consuming Fire”, among other things) into something they could both understand and manage. We proceeded to talk about how even our worship today in church can digress into idolatry. The worship leaders can become idols, the songs can become idols, the “feeling” or “fix” that we get when we worship can even become an idol. I left the meeting both challenged, but also somewhat saddened. I was challenged to do all that I can to keep my heart pure, to humble myself before God and get out of the way, and to relentlessly try to point the attention to God alone, not to me, not to songs, not to feelings, but to Him. But I also was so saddened that even the “good things,” even the “God-stuff” isn’t safe. If worship can lead me (and the church at large) into sin, and not just any sin, but the sin of idolatry (breaking the FIRST commandment for crying out loud), then we are doomed! Even our best efforts can lead to death. How depressing.

So what can you do after a class like that? I do the only thing I can think of: head to the beach, to soak up the sun, ride my bike down the strand, enjoy some cheesecake-on-a-stick, all the while trying to shake off the depressing stuff, and enjoy God’s creation.

But…the conversation isn’t over. Tonight, I attend yet another intensive, this one titled Pastoring 101 (but really is stuff every Christian needs to hear). And, it’s really the same story. Much of our conversation tonight centered around the fact that we are so prone to stray from a genuine loving relationship with God. This is horribly detrimental for pastors/ministers, because you begin to try to give to others out of an empty self, and again….we’re off and running toward idolatry, (whether we’re worshipping ourselves, worshipping a pastor, etc.) It starts out good, we realize we’re messed up, we run to Jesus, He saves us, we realize His goodness, and desire to share that with others. This “sharing it with others” becomes our ministry, and then instead of being the Source, and the Goal, Jesus becomes the means to fuel our ministry – with self-help, or helping others, or a satisfying life, or praise, or whatever else as the goal. Goal –a.k.a. idol.

So again, I leave saddened. Worship leading, might lead to idolatry. Pastoring, might lead to idolatry… crap. We’re in trouble. (I know this sounds extreme, obviously, I don’t believe that these ALWAYS lead or idolatry, or even most of the time, but the fact that they can, still freaks me out.)
As we bow our heads to pray, I pray a different prayer than the pastor leading the intensive. (Sorry, I wasn’t listening to the prayer). It went something like this.

“God. This is so frustrating. I feel destined to fail. Even the best of callings/jobs/ministries, whatever you want to call them, can lead to the most horrible of sins. It seems like there is no safe place.
Honestly, I feel like I’ve been forced to walk from here to heaven on this tightrope. Below me is a bottomless gulf just waiting for me to surrender to endless failure. One tiny mistake, even a sneeze could dismount me from this Christian lifeline and it’s over. (I sound so bleak huh? It seems worse in writing, for some reason I feel ok telling God these sorts of things). No one can make it.

He answered, (first with the punch). You’re right, you won’t make it. You are right, your fallen heart is bent toward worshipping other things. But, here’s the truth. You aren’t the one who’s supposed to be walking this line.
(you can see it coming now.) (Here’s the bath on the inside) - Jesus can, and did. Now, your job is to climb into a wheelbarrow, and let Him push you across. Remember He is God, remember He doesn’t fail, and yes, I’m serious, sit in a wheelbarrow over an endless gulf, and be pushed (without your control) atop a wobbling rope, by the only One who could ever master it. Do you believe I am who I say I am?

The only way you fail, or fall is if you climb out of the wheelbarrow (Spirit-filled life, made possible by Jesus). All at once it is so safe and feels so not-safe. Ah, the life lived as God plans.
I’m not terribly comfortable in the wheelbarrow, I’d prefer a 747(and where’s the trust in that?), but He is God and I am not, and this is how it works. So I fix my eyes on Jesus, the author and finisher of my faith, and let Him push me along, because, I know I can’t do it, but I’m assured He can.

“Oh, foolish Galatians... having begun by the Spirit, are you now being perfected by the flesh??”

and that, my friends…is the gospel, in circus form.

(so after thinking about it, it might be better to liken the feeling I get when God hits me with truth to the setting of a broken bone. Definitely painful, but so necessary, and completely good. God is very concerned with resetting the disjointed views we have of Him, ourselves and the world. For that, I praise Him, so wise, so good.)

I've Moved!!

2008-10-05T13:02:00.000-07:00

My blog has moved to Wordpress -

http://kerischulz.wordpress.com

california keri?

2008-08-17T23:46:00.001-07:00

It has officially been forever since I've blogged... A problem I continually vow to change, but practically can't seem to make happen. But I suppose in blogdom, change happens one post at a time.
So, I was doing my usual somewhat infrequent tour-o-blogs of my friends in Bend, and after reading some inspiring and altogether too-challenging (if that's possible) posts written by my friend Bo Stern, I went looking over her blog and scanned through the links. Much to my suprise and excitement, I found my own name on her list of links...however, I was slightly shocked, and a little miffed to find that I had been named "California Keri."

Something inside of me kicks against being keri FROM california. It is the same part of me that refuses to trade in my oregon plates and license for CA ones though I've lived here five years now. It's the same part of me that determines to refer to soft drinks as "pop" even at the cost of much ridicule from my local friends. It's the part of me that says, "uhh" before I answer the question "where are you from?" It's the part that still studders when refering to la mirada as home. My heart strings seem to be unseverable (i think I just made that word up), from the beautiful town of Bend. I'm not sure if it's my family, my friends there, the beautiful scenery, the chill down-to-earth culture, the memories of things God has done in my life there, my never dying passion for God's movement at Mountain View, or very likely the combination of all things above that keep my heart attached to that town "in the middle of nowhere" (according to So. Cal people).

The california is starting to seep in, however. I-5, has permenately become "the five" for me and all other freeways followed suit. I think that 60 degree days are chilly, and my shoe wardrobe now includes, and is dominated by the near-daily worn rainbow sandals. When I come to bend for christmas, I get asked how I got so tan. And... to top it all off... I have a season pass to Disneyland...Yes, I can sail down splash mountain nearly every day of the year if I please.

I've often wondered why I am so hesitant to embrace Southern California, or why I take such pride when people ask me "you aren't from here, are you?" And though, I think I'll never really kick my desire to be back in beautiful Bend, I am starting to see that my longing for something else keeps me from embracing what God has for me now. My passion for bend has turned into an arrogance against southern california.
I don't want to be someone who gets so caught up in what's coming next, or where I've been before that I miss out on what's before me in that moment. As I look at the life of Jesus, I see One who lived so radically in the moment. Of course, he was conscious of the past, and his role in salvation history, and he talked frequently about the kingdom of God and things to come, but practically, he lived his life so intently in the now. He stopped to heal the blind beggars, He paused to hug the children, he fielded questions from disciples, and religous pharisees, even late into the night. He, at one moment is Jesus of Nazareth, and then the man from Galilee, one who came from Egypt, and one who had his heart fixed on Jerusalem.
I long to be more like Christ, consumed with what God has set before me for each day, attentive enough to recognize His movement and work, but not ashamed to long for a better place (even better than bend).

So for now, I'm here, until He says otherwise. So Bo, I'm no more offended by my title on your links. God has me here in California today, and so far as I know for tomorrow too. Maybe someday, it'll change to Back in Bend Keri, or Off to the nations Keri, or God bless Texas Keri (though I kinda hope not), but for now, because it's God's great plan for me, I'm thankful to be,
"California Keri"

goodnight

time to catch up

2007-10-01T13:26:00.001-07:00

>Well, I've gone about 4 months since my last post. Oops. Summer is just too much fun to be spending time on a computer (and really after all those long papers I had to write to graduate college, I was ready to shut my computer down for a whole year.)
So instead of trying to tell you about everything that has happened over the summer, I thought I'd post a slideshow instead. I hope it helps you get a glimpse of what I've been up to.

Beyond that, Life is good here. I am living at a little slower pace after having shoulder surgery. Things like this are great to help me learn the truth that God is so much more concerned with who I am than what I do. When my normal ways ministering to others, or worshipping Him are put on hold, I find that God has not forgotten me or left simply because I am not able to lead worship, or because I spend many more hours hanging out and icing my shoulder on the couch than before.
In times like this I am pushed into the realization that in much of my life I have missed the call to simply enjoy God, and bring Him enjoyment by just talking about life with Him, or like I've said before - answering Christ's call to "come and have breakfast" (John 21:12).

My shoulder will get better, work will begin soon enough, ministry like worship leading and preaching and missions will resume, but for now I'm learning to enjoy and appreciate the God who has allowed me to be still, and who is just as real in my soccer practices, and on my couch with me as He is in our church services. For this I am thankful.
Happy October.

what is your best memory from this summer?

Sudanese

2006-12-21T19:06:00.000-08:00

I have just started getting to know this group of Sudanese refugees who live in San Diego. My coach Dan used to help them out/give them food/hang out and share Christ with them when he was in high school. He took Hilary and I down there to introduce us to these people, and to see if we can get something started with the Biola soccer team and students.
These sudanese refugees came to the US escaping a horrifying civil war in their country. They have poor living conditions, and not enough food to make it through each month, yet they have the biggest smiles I have ever seen.
I'll be posting more about them as I continue to make trips down to SD and as we get the Biola team involved in bringing food, teaching the Bible, and helping the kids with school.
In the meantime, pray for them, pray for peace in their country, and shoot me an email if you want to help in any way (When I asked what we could do to help, they said...well thank you so much. We just need some food, maybe some rice to make it through the month, and towels and sweatshirts would be really great, our kids get cold at night).

I am hoping to get my church involved, and maybe the Student ministries at Biola. It's crazy to see such need inside of such an affluent county.

to read more about these people google "lost boys of Sudan" or "Sudanese refugees"

2006-12-05T20:42:00.000-08:00

Well. Casey taught me how to make these cool photo slide show thingys...so now I am a blogger and a techno-picture-savvy kid. Thanks Cas -

The thing is... I miss soccer already. that's what the slideshow is about... I miss playing, and being done with my college soccer career reminds me that I am really really close to being done with my entire college student career. Life as I know it is going to change bigtime really soon. I have been a student for the past eighteen years. (yes preschool totally counts). It has been a really good ride. Biola was definitely the place I was meant to be for the last four years. God has met me in incredible ways, I have learned lessons I never could have learned any other way, and I have made friends that I will have for life.

amist all of the nostalgia, and craziness of ending so many things at once, I've entered into this really fun and exciting season of life where my days are filled with dreaming. I've never before been in a place where I am so free to dream about the future and how God might want to use me. It is so weird to have so much freedom. I'm not really tied to anything, no commitment to a job, no boyfriend, no school schedules after june...
It's exciting to sit and dream about going to the nations, maybe spending time working with my (honorary) brother Brent and Virginia in Uganda, or interning at my church learning how to pastor, recording a worship CD, leading small groups or diving into outreaches... I dream about all kinds of jobs, from teaching to coaching to barista-ing, to working in a youth group, to worship leading, to being a missionary. It all sounds good to me. I dream of living back in Bend, I dream of living in Idaho with Danny and Jamie, I dream of living here in Southern California, I dream of living in Japan or some other far-off-country that needs to hear about Jesus.

this conversation inevitably leads to the question, "So Keri...what are you really going to do next year?" And really, I don't want to jump straight to answering that yet, I am enjoying the season of dreams...
but if you must know... I am plannig on interning in my church at least until November (but coming home to Bend for part of the summer - Kristin's wedding, and to be with family), and working on staff with the Biola Soccer team (coaching goalkeepers), and trying out some substitute teaching in the public schools.

until next time...
what are you dreaming about?

there's no place like home

2006-11-27T17:49:00.000-08:00

"And how I'm all wrapped up in my mother's face
With a touch of my father just up around the eyes
And the sound of my brother's laugh
But more wrapped up in what binds our ever distant lives

But if I must go
Things I trust will be better off without me
But I don't want to know
Life is better off a mystery

So keep'em coming these lines on the road
And keep me responsible be it a light or heavy load
And keep me guessing with these blessings in disguise
And I'll walk with grace my feet and faith my eyes" -- faith my eyes - by Caedmon's Call

I always put this song on in my car when I am missing home, or thinking about Bend.
Do you know what I am thankful for this Thanksgiving? I am thankful to come home to a house where I am always welcomed by loving wonderful parents who will just sit and talk with me. I am thankful for a brother, sister in law, and nephew who came over from Boise to coem and simply be together as a family.
I love to sit with them by the fire and talk about God, and dream about His work in the world and how we can jump in. I'm thankful for friends who will call, come over, share a cup of coffee, share a bunch of memories, share dreams for the future. I'm thankful for snowflakes after 8 months in tropical weather. I could list things I'm thankful for forever.

so what am I up to now?
I'm working through my last year of college at Biola, trying to finish up some last classes, and squeeze the most I can get out of this place for my 25 Gs a year. (David took some time to help me with my reading while I was home...he was worried I wouldn't pass my literature competency test.)
I am coaching a girls varsity high school soccer team at Whittier Christian, and loving it. Those girls are helping me deal with my soccer withdrawls now that my playing career is done at Biola (and my dad says, "hallelujiah").

I am staying busy at church too, trying to keep my place in the coffee ministry, but also leading worship more and more, which is a pretty cool experience. I love church, it's so fun to wake up on sunday morning excited to go.

Now I'm praying about what God has for me next year. Hopefully He answes soon, so I can have something to tell the thousands of people who keep asking, "So Keri, what are you doing after you graduate?" All I know as that He keeps leading me into better and better seasons of my life, so I'm excited to see where we go next.

well this post is getting long. so I'll throw down the question of the day:
what song are you feeling now, and why?

I'm in

2006-11-23T14:39:00.000-08:00

blogging?? I'm in
yeah, this was the only picture I could come up with for now...but how often do you get to take a picture in bunker gear? that's pretty fun.
anyway, I have joined the blogging community, I hear it is the good way to stay connected with everybody, and plus... I need something to do during my 2 hour nature of computing class. So check in if you want to know what's going on in my life.

question of the day:
what is your most memorable science class catastrophe? (exaggerations are always welcome)