california keri?

It has officially been forever since I've blogged... A problem I continually vow to change, but practically can't seem to make happen. But I suppose in blogdom, change happens one post at a time.
So, I was doing my usual somewhat infrequent tour-o-blogs of my friends in Bend, and after reading some inspiring and altogether too-challenging (if that's possible) posts written by my friend Bo Stern, I went looking over her blog and scanned through the links. Much to my suprise and excitement, I found my own name on her list of links...however, I was slightly shocked, and a little miffed to find that I had been named "California Keri."

Something inside of me kicks against being keri FROM california. It is the same part of me that refuses to trade in my oregon plates and license for CA ones though I've lived here five years now. It's the same part of me that determines to refer to soft drinks as "pop" even at the cost of much ridicule from my local friends. It's the part of me that says, "uhh" before I answer the question "where are you from?" It's the part that still studders when refering to la mirada as home. My heart strings seem to be unseverable (i think I just made that word up), from the beautiful town of Bend. I'm not sure if it's my family, my friends there, the beautiful scenery, the chill down-to-earth culture, the memories of things God has done in my life there, my never dying passion for God's movement at Mountain View, or very likely the combination of all things above that keep my heart attached to that town "in the middle of nowhere" (according to So. Cal people).

The california is starting to seep in, however. I-5, has permenately become "the five" for me and all other freeways followed suit. I think that 60 degree days are chilly, and my shoe wardrobe now includes, and is dominated by the near-daily worn rainbow sandals. When I come to bend for christmas, I get asked how I got so tan. And... to top it all off... I have a season pass to Disneyland...Yes, I can sail down splash mountain nearly every day of the year if I please.

I've often wondered why I am so hesitant to embrace Southern California, or why I take such pride when people ask me "you aren't from here, are you?" And though, I think I'll never really kick my desire to be back in beautiful Bend, I am starting to see that my longing for something else keeps me from embracing what God has for me now. My passion for bend has turned into an arrogance against southern california.
I don't want to be someone who gets so caught up in what's coming next, or where I've been before that I miss out on what's before me in that moment. As I look at the life of Jesus, I see One who lived so radically in the moment. Of course, he was conscious of the past, and his role in salvation history, and he talked frequently about the kingdom of God and things to come, but practically, he lived his life so intently in the now. He stopped to heal the blind beggars, He paused to hug the children, he fielded questions from disciples, and religous pharisees, even late into the night. He, at one moment is Jesus of Nazareth, and then the man from Galilee, one who came from Egypt, and one who had his heart fixed on Jerusalem.
I long to be more like Christ, consumed with what God has set before me for each day, attentive enough to recognize His movement and work, but not ashamed to long for a better place (even better than bend).

So for now, I'm here, until He says otherwise. So Bo, I'm no more offended by my title on your links. God has me here in California today, and so far as I know for tomorrow too. Maybe someday, it'll change to Back in Bend Keri, or Off to the nations Keri, or God bless Texas Keri (though I kinda hope not), but for now, because it's God's great plan for me, I'm thankful to be,
"California Keri"

goodnight